Wednesday, June 06, 2007
arg!!
i don get it... k i know itz spm n shit but like going out a day wont kill no1... i get y ppl who leave bm never wana come back... it jz suffercates ya alive.. every1 is so controlling.... times change.. they don get tat... they r so left back in time.. they compare things now wit things then.. things have change the world changed! ppl my age now r so more matured..i rather be left alone.. let me make decisions 4 myself... like i been doing the past year or so.. there's a thing called privacy they don get s well...i know i aint the perfect daughter maybe run the bill's up.. but i think im way better then some of my frenz...most my frenz they drink,have sex,take drugs,get married even?.skip sch.. bla..bla.. i don do stuff like tat.. tat would hurt her..smt i need space 2 hang wit frenz.. i mean tis is my last year.. next year i aint gona be here.. im going FAR,FRA,FAR away!!! n stay far from some ppl... ppl leave me alone 4 so long n i got used 2 it,... now all of a sudden they budding into my life again?>! wtf? i prefer them not 2. she always says there's nothing2 hide in tis place? bullshit! she hides everything from him, then later complain so much about him 2 me.. i don need 2 know! i mean it makes me hate him more n more..every1 wishes 2 have some1 like her.. cz of they look in from the outside..from the inside can they handel it?! she used 2 get me.. she used 2 be my bestfren.. bt.. things change.. i feel like a stranger 2 her.. the trust is broken from form3 tat cant be fix..she is not my shalter anymore.. god? he still there 4 me.. 4 ever there.. smt i feel distanted from him 2... back 2 her.. she is great at times.. but now adays not so... maybe i jz need space from her.. i dono... she seems so annoying.. y so concern y so controlling so all up in my face?? i mean.. she yeling n shouting 4 nothing she get emo n merajuk 4 stupid things? its like she wants 2 find a reason 2 pick a fight.. i tried everything.. ignoring, listening,doing watever.. nothing seem 2 really work.. like i can never be jz good enough 4 her... most the time its cz of her im emo! she affects my life so so much.. i used 2 have so many great memories wit her... all i ask is so i can hang out.. i mean i don go out much?! i dont.. my frens ask me out almost everday i don.. 1 month maybe once or twice?... most the time i miss things i never ask her cz i know we cant afford 2 go.. i aint demanding.. jz smt i want her 2 pay attention.. she does not,.. but if was some1alse she be up front n center listening... i jz wana enjoy tis holidays itz my last.. but she makes it so wrong 2 have fun.. anyway i aint going out cz i wana catch up in my studies....another thing is my phone.. ok holidays fri, sat n sunday i use it alot.. but sch dayz i dont! at night maybe a lil good night mes n encourage mes 2 frenz who r down,... tat's it. mostly if i mes at night itz cz of sch stuff.. or if im wit the phone itz cz im putting or checking reminder or if i cant sleep ill be checking out the pic i have taken... she thinks im mes till late night. so crazy.. like la my frenz be awake.. n i got so much kredit! arg!! im so frustrated... i need 2 get out of tis prison!i need 2 get far away from here. ..
