Not weird but just uniquely different

Friday, January 07, 2011

There are short moments where I just let my thoughts wonder....

Maybe its wrong, but I cant help wonder...

sometimes when I type that URL... I hope to see it gone..

But there are times where I'm scared to find it missing...

But one things for sure,

Im not looking back wishing things were different...

for I know I deserve better

xoxo

the best you'll never have.

Labels: emotions

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

One year is almost over,

this has been one though year,

alot of downs more than up's..

but I hope it can end with a bang!

I learned alot this year,

grown alot,

Faced alot of problems with myself and manage to overcome them,

This year was hard dealing with alot of personal relationship problems,

Im glad this year is coming to an end,

cause I can face next year with a new start..

someone hurt me alot this year mentally and physically

and I hope that one day you realize your faults and better yourself

cause I pray you never treat anyone alse like how you treated me,

you left a scar for life, and Im glad Im pass that,

I can finally move on now...

cause i know not everyones the same...

I learned nothing is permanent

everything is just temporary

just live in the moment

but that does not give you an excuse to be stupid

cause you will someday have to deal with the consequences of your own actions...

People like to judge you but the people around you

But I think if you know yourself well enough

and hold strong to your own principles

no one can mold you except you, yourself..

This year I made alot of new friends that I know

are Friends for life...

You guys who were always there and stuck by me,

THANK U

I know I could not go through this year without each of you.

My family is going thru so much

we are having a BIG MOVE.

so I hope Im not causing anymore strains on them

I <3>

cause now all the skeletons are cleared we can start the new year

with a new leaf! =)

This year i turned 20!

I had my 1st flaming! And a bunch of other shots

I cant remember the name.

I tried alot of new stuff ..

Had a few sohai moments,

~~kissed 4guys ?~~ jk

learned not to hold myself back so much

living with sheena helped me so much in so many ways

Im just glad I could survive 2010. =)

Labels: emotions

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

So many things play throu my head…

I found my feet back on the ground..

Not easy getting here.. but I did it..

No more feeling shitty about myself

Wondering what my mistake was,

Wondering what if…

Im at a place I feel happy

Despite people around me getting the wrong idea

Despite the people around not trusting me

But that’s history,

I cant wait for 2010 to end…

Next year one clean slate..

Same same but different..

Im with people who care,

Im with people that show me that there is more to life

people should stop judging people by their cover...

every book tells a different story,

only difference is your the author of your own book..

how the ending might be is up to you,

how different people like reading the book or not

is up to them..

as long as your happy with how your book is turning out

thats all that really matter's..

when life gives you lemons ask for tequila and salt ;p

I'm back new and improved...

Doing the things I never could cause you hold me down...

to-No.3 You cant mess with my mind no more...

I'm not letting you have the best of me..

no more mindf**king me.

your nice but you have no respect for people

even the respect you show is just temporary..

I did some modeling for my friends awesome experience

and It was fun!

**lil too much make up in one but totally worth it hopefully i can keep the dress**

xoxo

Labels: emotions

Friday, November 05, 2010

Said all I need to say.

Im not talking anymore,

Nanny told me the best friends listen

and only give advice when asked.

She also said to smile more at random people,

u don't lose anything, if u smile you gain a smile,

I cant wish on a shooting star no more,

Im gonna stop being so dependent,

no more calling just to talk,

facing my skeletons in my closet,

I don't know why Bad things happen

especially to really sweet and awesome people

like nanny and my friend,

they are the sweetest people on planet earth,

I pray that all their pain/hurt/troubles go away,

cause I know they don't deserve this,

what can cause dumb humans to hurt these people

who are so amazing,

sometimes I wish I could do something to make things better..

I hope all goes well..

life's a bitch..

Labels: emotions

Thursday, November 04, 2010

I'm wild cause I dare to be different!

So deal with it…

Looking into the mirror and fixing it..

Doing what I need to do.

When something aint rite and everything is messed up

Idk how to react I say stuff that I don’t mean

Im an emotional rack when things are not stable.

No3. You aint everything anymore..

I overreacted.

Cause I was hurt, nothing with u in it is easy..

Everything with u is so complicated

but somehow everything is rite..

somehow I still feel like Im fighting for respect,

all you care about is who's opinion is on what..

No1. Its obvious..

we are losing you again....

I know it should not matter,

but somehow I wonder what are you thinking?

why am I so annoyed to hear about b_______a..?

~yesterday~

Best day in kl!!

I spend the afternoon driving around settling bills

in the hot hot sun with no air-cond.

After sending my sister-in-law home

AM,Min and me hit the pool!

after a very seriously fcking hot day

the ice cold pool was heaven!!

Thai food

randomly driving

city view

laying down by the lake

just talking

and looking at the cacat clouds

Mac'D ice-cream!

the awesome company

best chill out day =)

*Downside our car was raided by cops who were annoying and kept asking us if we celebrated Deepavali and saying that me and AM would make pretty babies*

one word

wtf

**little tip people**

Dare's aren't suppose to mind fuck u.

sighs..

Labels: emotions, friends

Monday, November 01, 2010

My thoughts are all over the place for a while..

thats why I haven't been blogging...

but a little sneak peak on whats been in my mind...

This sem is so different

I gain and lost so much,

everything is changing so fast,

life is really a roller costar ride,

I worked during sem break at PJLA,

It was fun I gotta meet with different people and find myself again,

Somehow it made me realize the good and bad in the people around me,

And I gotta work on my problems.

even though I wanted to shout sometimes that

I love my ATTITUDE PROBLEM!

****

I hate the feeling knowing that something is hanging between u and ur close friend.

I hate knowing their mad at you or have something on their mind but not wanting to spill.

Hate wanting to just hug them and making everything go away.

****

somedays I feel so messed up

somedays I dont feel like getting out of bed,

Somedays I feel like jumping for joy,

Somedays Im all smiles,

Somedays I just wanna scream,

Somedays I wish i was emotion-less

Somedays I wana try new things,

somedays I want wads familiar,

*********

This is for U,

Honestly without you around this year,

I dont think I could manage degree,

You helped me though everything,

from break up's to mess up's

you were always there,

you somehow made things feel better,

like in a moment I forget everything,

and not everyone can do that to me,

we always got each other's back,

no matter what happens,

I want you to know,

Im so great-full that your in my life,

And I want you to be there till the end

Your an amazing person and Im blessed to have you in my life.

Even though I doubt Ill be seeing you around by the end of this month..

thank you for happy days..

********

You no2.

I know you love me but can you stop making me regret every call I make to you!!

seriously your DRAMA-queen-nest is annoying me.

********

You no.3

I hate u, for making everything so hard.

I know whats right but you make whats right so wrong.

I hope your happy.

**************

Every year since I was 13 I got one new piercing,

13years old-2nd hole*ear

14-years old-top ear

15-self pierce 3rd hole

16-belly piercing

17-another 3rd hole*took it out**

18-nose piercing **took it out**

19-lip piercing ** took it out**

20- eye brow ** currently**

And this is the final peircing i hope.

Next year TATTOo.

I actualize the things I wanna do,

next botaking ...

Labels: emotions

Thursday, September 09, 2010

This is for you..

I just need everyone to stop telling me what to do,

I know what I need to do,

Just leave me alone..

Labels: emotions

I fucked up so much this past weeks..

I dono wtf Im doing..

when I finally realize it might be too late..

Doing shit I normally wouldn't do,

I feel the guilt,

I hate the feeling,

LOST..

everything just doesn't seem right,

Losing my mind...

It took losing a friend to realize how short and precious life is,

That every word you say might be your last,

Every mistake you make cant be undone,

Every plans made unfulfilled,

life is like a ripple,

one drop can change everything,

We changed plans, I did it so I could see him,

Support him,but it ended up with a life lost,

Yea its not my fault but I cant help wonder what IF..

Random stuff keeps playing in my head,

stupid fights,

you may think Im too young,

but I know whats right,

I know how its suppose to feel,

My biggest regrets,

I cant change time,

I can only hope....

hope times picks me...

If only you could make someone do something,

but you cant,

everyone around going to the same thing,

everyone uses someone to forget someonealse

but im not gonna do that...

time is the best healer...

Thank you for being there and being understanding....

Reality just hit me HARD.

Labels: emotions

Saturday, May 01, 2010

i cant concentarate!

how the hack am I GONA STUDY BC!

im back in Penang.

somehow i thought it would be a good thing.

arrgghh!!

I never thought you would hurt me so much,

i hate you so much.

cant belive the person you turned out to be.

Labels: emotions

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Im Lost in moments of silence,

Moments of dissatisfaction,

Moments of wonder,

Moments of amazement,

Moments of frustration,

Moments full of though ,

I think of conversations not had in my head ,

Things I want to say to you, but when I face you I cant

I don’t know why I just wish somehow you can see thing from my eyes

Sometimes I think everyone would be a whole lot better if we see thing from each other sides.

I still hope, I still pray I still have faith but im doubt

I really dono anymore, is there a way you could show me a sign

Things are so messed up, but not sad

I lost in confusion, wondering why?

Wondering things could be like this,

I was the strong type, but I’m weak now,

I can’t say no, no matter how much I try,

I can’t stop myself,

Maybe I’m foolish, maybe just ignorant,

But I can’t help it.

I think I’m weak cause I CARE too much,

Even when I don’t want to,

What should I do?

How to erase this? how to delete what can’t be erase,

We all searching for happiness

What if it comes in forms you don’t expect it to,

It’s so right and so good but at the same time It feel wrong,

I can’t sleep at night I’m just constantly thinking,

I wish I could just put my mind on pause,

This is so frustrating,

How long more can I take this?

pic's via we♥it

i unfold to myself.

sick of questions i don't want to answer.

i owe you nothing.

PS: I lost my hand phone in borders garden today,

so please call my DG if you want to reach me or FB me.

Labels: emotions

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

we♥

I had fun in Penang despite having something on my mind.

Im a free spirit and im not gonna let anyone hold me down,

Im gonna be happy for me not anyone,

yes its time to be selfish and think of me,

I need to find myself.

even though there is a price to pay.

STARBUCKS CAM WHORE.

with me babe

had an awesome last night with ya!

even though we got back at 4 with a lecture

and whatever

but it was what i needed,

and i do not regrate it =)

despite the consequences,

I never did something like that before so

there is the 1st for everything

And

if we didnt I would have died of depression!

laughter is the best medicine.

thank you for all the laughs ♥

Labels: emotions, friends

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

stupidly FOOLISH.
Playing music under the covers on a rainy day
best cure for the heartless wounds.

hate:
me
u
yes u
everyone ales

good night.

Labels: emotions

Monday, January 25, 2010

My condolences to Premla and family...

Christmas seems like last week.
we were all gathered celebrating it together,
celebrating zac's 1birthday.

I received the shocking news Monday morning.
That Premla's brother in law passed away,
I meet Kumar a couple of times,
even celebrated last Christmas with him and his family.
he was a great guy, loving husband and a good father.

After hearing the news it kinda made me realize that life is so unpredictable,
And that life is so precious.
I started valuing life,

And all the little things that i never notice be four.
Life is like a gift we should cherish while it last.

A little note to everyone:

Labels: emotions

Friday, January 22, 2010

love without trust isn't love at all,
if you love a person you trust them,
if you trust a person you don't try to control them,
you just accept them,
if you love a person you don't cheat,
if you trust a person that you love,
you don't have to worry about having your heart broken,

love isn't always perfect its a working process.
but cheating isn't a phase in life, it is just stupidity.

im loving kl a whole lot more now,
i been busy alot this week,
just chilling and stuff,
somehow it feels pretty good,
and im not letting anyone get to me,
especially over the most smallest things.
which im sure one day you'll see is so ridiculous.

so
im going out ;)

Labels: emotions

Thursday, January 07, 2010

via we<3>

Seriously sometimes i feel like some guys are born without FEELINGS.
or they just don't give two shits about you
or they just don't care enough to know how you feel.
and im not being sensitive...

frustrated.

Labels: emotions

Friday, December 18, 2009

I just saw my bothers proposal on facebook.

and i feel like crying. so romantic and sweet!
congratulations!
<3

Labels: emotions

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Ok now u fking pissed me off!!!!!!!!
1st you pretend to walk around and act like nothing is absolutefkingly wrong,

2nd you lie, and lie to cover what?! everyone knows!
by everyone, i do mean everyone!

3rd just because i let you off by not saying anything about it and be nice to you,
don't mean im OK with you! i have never been!
i just have so much to say that i don't know where to start!

4th remember that KARMA'S A BITCH!

5th when your saggy ball's RIP lets see if that bitch stays.

6th haven't you done enough damage!?! don't you know when you don't belong?

7th yea you have the right to be here, but you don't belong here, here means a lot to people,
it must mean nothing to you for the shit you been up to.

8th you were never there, you were a stranger and now a fucking calculative stranger
have you forgotten its your dam responsibility!! how much more have the other one had to sacrifice!! the little you did you seriously want to count that!!

9th i let my bf go through your phone/emails what ever! cause you have nothing to hide when you in a dam relationship! only if you do you would hate it!

10th Christmas is normally spent with FAMILY, not at this or that persons house!
(like your Christmas in ipoh or genting was not at home right)

dont fucking write shit which is not true!
take the fall cause your the one to be blamed!
no one alse!

ps: sorry peeps if you think this post is rude!
but its a fact and its time for me to stand up to what is right!

Labels: emotions

Monday, September 28, 2009

warning people!!

person 1 somehow inside i feel betrayed,
you know what your doing and with WHOM.
you of all people know the story,
you among all people should feel as how i do,
i told you how i felt, you choose to ignore it,
you certainly don't know your lines,
which i think is totally BS and that you just choose to be blind,

person2, you keep BS-ing with stories that your totally ok
hello..
i aint born yesterday, something is up so spill.
you don't have to carry the world on your shoulders,
just hope you know how much more you deserve..
and that i love you to bits!!

foolish

last but x least the worse person!
the omg!
the most funniest shit!
1)you don't even know me,
2)you butt in my life all of a sudden
3)not everyone wants your advise no matter how good it is
get over yourself you aint queen Elizabeth!
4)if have no idea head or tail don't just assume things
5) i was laying down the facts
6) if you have a stick up up arse its not my prob go deal with your own issues.

siapa makan udat dia terasa!

thank you

Labels: emotions

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

drifting away....

the truth is, i don't want to get a job,

i want to go back to penang and waste time rotting at home!

cause its the only time i can be there for a long period of time.

sigh

Labels: emotions

Monday, August 17, 2009

hating em bitches!!

why is it when people are at their worse part in life people love to bitch about em!
blood sucking gossip bitches....
**slaps everyone of em!**
i wish...

im actually glad about the situation,
should have happen ages ago!
so proud of her standing up for herself,
everyone is, and is backing her up,
people should learn their lesson long long ago!
i cant stand em cheaters,
isn't one good enough?
isn't the one you so called love mean more than anything to you,
that you would do anything to make them happy?
don't call yourself a man or any other status if you cant face up
if you cant see the awesomeness in front of you,
then you really don't deserve it.

Anyways there is sale all over KL.
plus digi has been also so generous..
i got meself a Roxy beg which i been wanting to get ages ago!
addto the other roxy collection. xp
seems that the one i was aming for , gal beat me to it! lmao

I been really bust lately with presentations and work,
cant wait to get paid!
but i cant spend it cause of bising bf,
but then again im glad he wants me to save!
so hopes can go aus next year!
missing it..

might be going back to penang soon,

world meet funky toothy rabbit!
i made it,
seriously

Labels: emotions, updates

Jazz

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